I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
