You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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