Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
