Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
