Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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