is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ok first of all what the fuck
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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