Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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