i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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