this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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