I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love having hate sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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