Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
