Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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