I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I want her autograph on my taint
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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