I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
