Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There r osticjed everywhere
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
