i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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