So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
