After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
