after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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