u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's just like the Real World with babies
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
