i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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