Kiss
Puke
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
