I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
