Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
