Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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