You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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