I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
