No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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