You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
