You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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