don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
