12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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