Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
