Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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