I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
