Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
