I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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