Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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