so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
