A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Someone signed my nipple.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
