When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
