piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dick very happy bro
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
