these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
