she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
