She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
