Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
