good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
