only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
