I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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