Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How external is "for external use only"?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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